Monday!!!

Crazy busy day at work today,  but off until Saturday because of a death in the family..  It is so hard to face death,  but sadly I have to..  each time it takes me back to that morning of the fire..   the morning that changed my life and me forever..   a morning where I learned to fight each day to put a smile on my face..  to put on a face of happiness even when I am not feeling it.. I wonder sometimes why I have been dealt the hand that I hold each day..  loss has taught me to appreciate the people in my life more.. to try to be open to others and that is hard for me and takes time..  I don't accept or trust anyone immediately..  I actually push people away to protect myself,  if they hang in there and prove themselves,  then I am their friend for life,  if they betray me once,  then I will never ever trust them and will distance myself from them forever!!!..  sadly people have one chance with me... but it is the way that I am and I have learned to accept me and love me for who I am..